Realising your child may need extra help can feel overwhelming, and lonely. There is no single “right” age or order for any of this, and you don’t have to have it all worked out today. This is a starting point.
Trust what you’re noticing
You know your child better than anyone. If something feels different, whether it’s communication, learning, sensory reactions, emotions or behaviour, it’s worth acting on, even without a diagnosis. Keep a simple diary: what happened, when, and what helped. A few lines a day quickly becomes some of the most useful evidence you can bring to any appointment.
Your first conversations
- Your child’s nursery or school. Ask to speak to the SENCO (special educational needs coordinator). Share what you’ve noticed and ask what support they can put in place now.
- Your GP or health visitor. They can check anything health-related and refer on for assessments where needed.
How school support usually works
Most needs are met through SEN Support, the help a school provides from its own resources. Good schools use a graduated approach: assess, plan, do, review. They try something, see whether it helps, and adjust, and you should be involved at every step.
Where needs are greater and SEN Support isn’t enough, you can ask the council for an EHC needs assessment, the first step towards an Education, Health and Care plan.
Look after yourself, and get support
This is a marathon, not a sprint. Your local SENDIASS gives free, impartial advice, and other parents who have walked this path are often the biggest help of all. You really don’t have to work this out alone.